“If only I had taken a chance. If only I had followed my dreams. I had the opportunity. Yet I chose to waste my time in pursuits that were unfulfilling. I chose to stay at dead-end jobs when I could have done so much better for myself. I could have lived my life on purpose. My security has turned into my ball-and-chain, my comfortable existence has fueled my inactivity, my lack of action has soured my ability to dream, and now my life is ending and it’s time to leave.”
– Words of A Dreamer
“I never thought in the beginning that what I was doing would lead anywhere. I mean, I had all these people in my life, my friends and family, who didn’t see my dream. They really didn’t understand and truthfully, neither did I. I can’t fault them because it wasn’t there dream, but I knew deep inside that I had to do something with this talent. Maybe I could use it so others could benefit from it in some way, even though I didn’t know how it would happen. I had to believe in myself, I had to pour sweat and work hard for all of this, but now that I have, no matter how it turns out, no matter if I can pursue this as an occupation, I am fulfilled. That isn’t what happened though. If fact, what happened raced past my meager expectations and not only am I fulfilled in my soul, but my life has changed. I can never go back to my old self, where I used to wonder who I was when I looked in the mirror. I can only step forward eagerly to embrace my purpose on this planet. The next challenge, no matter how difficult, can be accomplished, for I know who I am.”
– Words of a Person of Action
I pen these words from two perspectives and tell you frankly that I have walked a portion of both paths. The Dreamer has ideas, maybe even has a future self in mind, but lacks the motivation to begin. His mind is a constantly undependable vehicle; it cranks without issue, the engine revving full of life when thinking about the future, yet lies cold and motionless when pressed to begin the real work of moving forward. I have wondered much about why this is and I still don’t have a solid explanation, except for a few sparse thoughts.
The Problem of Change
Hard work in whatever capacity, whether college, learning for the first time, or learning something again, can be daunting. The only reason I can really wrap my hands around is the problem of change. Most of us are so resistant to it. When the verdict comes in, learning, growing, becoming, are all descriptive words stating the cold, hard truth that we must change. We must learn. We must grow. I must master (and you fill in the blank).
Change is incredibly hard. We want to be stuck in our ways. I am lazy, stubborn, and resistant (I don’t want to say that about you, but I can certainly say it about me) and those descriptive yet, unbecoming qualities, will only harm me in this life. If I am wise, I will realize I can’t stay there. We can know not to stay there and still live the same.
We are short-sighted. We can’t fathom where our growth will take us. We can’t see all the possibilities and it’s probably great that we can’t. Spoiling our experience in process would be a great wrong making life a perpetual bore. “Ah! I already knew this was going to happen.”
I can’t describe to you how excited I am about life right now due to my steps to change. The progress I have made; the book I have written. I am set on a path where I have no intentions of ever altering course. I have been consumed with excitement.
I fear I am driving my family and friends whacko because I talk of it often. If you have been around me and have grown tired of my incessant jabbering about all of this, then I greatly apologize for my jubilance. I don’t mean to constantly badger you. I am merely excited that I have finally climbed this hill, this mountain, after several decades of sitting on the sidelines, not even dressed in uniform to play.
And now I play!
You can see so clearly after accomplishing a task. The blinders are removed. The light is bright and you can tackle and accomplish so much more than you realized.
You can breathe. You can bask in the sunlight and enjoy your place in the world, a place of hope and wonder, yet more than that, you learn who you are and what you were meant for. Your existence is a place of action where what you make in this life is drawn from the depths of your activity. Then you begin to touch people with your magic in such profound ways and you want to be a part of their community, their world. Think upon those two quotes above, then upon yourself. Where are you in the journey? I have not made it. I am still in the process of change, just as we all are. Hopefully, we are inching closer and closer to the finish line of the next goal together.